March 28, 2007
My sisters, you can’t get past this. There are some sure things, like taxes and death. Well, add pap smears and pelvic examinations to the list.
If you are female, scoot down, open wide and relax.
According to Planned Parenthood, if you have ever had sexual intercourse or are 18 years or older, you should have a pap smear once a year.
A pap smear checks the cells on the cervix to determine if they are cancerous. This test is quick, as a long Q-tip is used to swab your cervix to get samples.
Hopefully the results will be normal.
Still, I really, really don’t like having pelvic exams.
It appears that a male wrote most of the literature describing this procedure because everything reads that “it is usually not painful.”
Just the thought is “painful!”
It really has to do with this instrument called a “speculum.” I call it “duck lips” because that is what it reminds me of. They insert these duck lips into the vagina and you feel a little pressure. Then you feel the Q-tip, a sound like something being unscrewed (somehow I missed the screwing on the front end –no pun intended), and then the duck lips are being pulled out of your vagina and you can really “relax.”
Now I am sure I am not the only one who believed that virgins could not have a pap smear/pelvic exam. But they can.
There’s an instrument called “virgin duck lips.” Well, not really. It is called a “virgin speculum” and it is much smaller so as not to break your hymen, which according to Wikipedia, is a fold of mucous membrane which surrounds or partially covers the external vaginal opening. The hymen has been used as a gauge to determine if a female had been sexually active.
Recently it was time for a pap smear and I just can’t get excited about what I deem a very compromising and somewhat embarrassing situation.
Thanks to Planned Parenthood, the experience wasn’t as intrusive as I anticipated.
You see, for years, only one man has been responsible for such an important process—Dr. William Glaze, who unfortunately has said goodbye to the wonderful world of obstetrics and gynecology.
I was devastated when Dr. Glaze said that he was closing down his practice. I was comfortable with him and did not welcome the idea of having to go through this annual experience with someone else. Dr. Glaze knew my body, he knew me, and, he also provided spiritual counseling during some troubling times.
It would have been selfish of me to not wish the best for Dr. Glaze. Still, I felt like I had been dumped. Here was the one man, other than my father, who I could count on unequivocally, to do what was best for me. And he was telling me our relationship was over.
I had to get a grip. I needed to move on. I knew this, but it is so very hard to let go, knowing that it’s not that easy to find the “right” relationship.
So there wasn’t a smile on my face when I walked into the Planned Parenthood office on Camp Wisdom Road.
Lourdes greeted me with a smile, but I was skeptical.
Ashley weighed me and I assured her that my cussing was not aimed at her as I looked at the numbers.
Then nurse practitioner Coby began what I hope will be a long and wonderful relationship. Not only was she professional and gentle, she was very knowledgeable.
With all the talk about the Human Papillomavirus (HPV), more and more young girls are getting tested. There are some things you can do to reduce the risk of cervical cancer, like not smoking, eating healthy, waiting to have sex and getting a pap smear annually.
“While the new HPV vaccine is a very exciting development in women’s health, it does not eliminate the need for regular Pap testing,” said Dr. Mary Sidawy, American Society of Cytopathology president. “Regular Pap testing is the gold standard for cervical cancer prevention: It’s broadly accessible, inexpensive and backed by nearly 70 years of science. We urge all who are championing the adoption of the HPV vaccine to clearly and aggressively remind women of the need for regular Pap testing to safeguard their health.”
I wish someone had told me about pap smears when I was younger because I tell you, I don’t care how old I get, I am never going to develop a fondness for those duck lips!
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