April 18, 2007
When I first arrived on the campus of Florida A&M University, I was warned about the men on campus who would congregate on the “Set,” in front of the two eating places—the Orange Room and the Green Room.
I was told that I might want to take the long way around the back of these buildings to get to my destination.
It seems that the walk past those two buildings vaguely resembled the Soul Train Line meeting Show Time at the Apollo’s most boisterous audience. The young men, of all sizes and from all across the country, would try to engage the women in conversation as they passed by. Unfortunately some of these young men would get belligerent if they felt snubbed by one of the young ladies and they would resort to name calling and on some rare occasions, physical abuse.
When I would ask some young ladies why they didn’t speak, usually I was told “If I don’t want to speak, I shouldn’t have to!” I would ask in response, “What’s wrong with a simple ‘hello?’”
For some reason, some sisters are just not going to speak.
The other day I was with several college and high school students and the young men opened the door for two young ladies who didn’t have the decency to even acknowledge the brothers.
I said “thank you” to the young men and then I apologized for the rude young ladies. The guys discussed how they are trying to do the right thing and look what happens.
All the sisters had to do was speak!
All the women on the college campuses needed to do was just speak! It won’t kill you.
And I could say something about the rude brothers who act like they don’t have home training –out there disrespecting women! We do have to do something about that. Maybe I need to get Minister Jeffery Muhammad to talk to them! Author Tavis Smiley talks about the need for Black people to speak to one another.
The infraction is especially glaring when you are in a strange place and there are only a few Blacks--you’re looking for a friendly face, but what do folks do? Shift their eyes and keep walking.
Sisters, you’re bad about this. You can be walking with your man and come upon a group and your man will speak and you won’t unless someone directly speaks to you—forcing you to open your normally big mouth.
We need to stop this madness. It does not hurt to speak.
What happens when you find yourself in need of a helping hand? I bet you find it within yourself to speak to someone when you are in need, don’t you?
Coming from the northeast part of the country, speaking was not always easy, but it appears that there has been a change. Growing up in New Jersey, we weren’t running around speaking to folks we didn’t know.
Of course when visiting relatives in the South I knew that I could not walk past anyone’s house (unless they were deemed certifiable) without speaking.
By the time I made it home, if the offended person didn’t get me first, someone would be waiting with a switch!
I love to tell the story about visiting a friend’s hometown-- Zachary, La. I had a description of the house I was going to and at one point I thought I was lost so I stopped along the side of the road and used the cell phone to call my friend’s mom.
When she answered, she asked, “Was that you just drove by in a white car?” I responded, “Yes.”
She then asked, “Well didn’t you see me waving at you?”
I then said, “Yes, but everybody up and down the street was waving, too!” That’s right, for some, speaking is a way of life. Speaking is the proper, respectful thing to do.
Don’t wait for someone to speak to you. Speak, darnit! It won’t kill you!
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