May 2, 2007
I didn’t have to worry about having sex my prom night because my date didn’t even like me!
Well, he liked me as a friend but he didn’t like me like “that.”
In fact, now that I think back, I was probably what some might call a “charity case.” Without a date, I had to rely on my good friend’s ex-boyfriend to escort me.
Jerry Hunter looked great in his powder blue suit with red pin-stripes and I thought I had it going on in my powder blue gown. And yes, he had on powder blue suede shoes!
We were off to the prom in his blue Thunderbird, ready to enjoy the music of homeboys, the Trampps!
Jerry was just a friend and he wasn’t looking for me to stay out all night and end up somewhere sweating, breath-ing heavily and trying to keep some semblance of the hairdo I left the house with as he huffed and puffed and broke through a forbidden wall.
He brought me home, hymen intact, before 2 a.m. Then he probably went out and caught up with some ready and willing participant.
I went upstairs, took a shower—without worrying about washing off Jerry’s DNA.
You, however, may not be so lucky. For some reason prom night seems like the ideal time to give up your virginity.
I didn’t and you don’t have to either.
In VIRGIN SEX FOR GIRLS: The No Regrets Guide to Safe and Healthy Sex, Dr. Darcy Luadzers talks about “everything you need to know right now about having sex for the first time.”
Noting that “prom and first times go together like American and apple pie, for better or worse,” the certified sex therapist offers many tips to consider before you say yes.
Now there are some who would say that I am a day late and a dollar short if I tell you don’t have sex on your prom night. I understand especially since I am well aware that elementary schoolers are having sex these days.
Now if no one has told you before that this “sex” thing is overrated, let me tell you, it is!
You don’t know a darned thing about lovemaking when you are a child. What may feel good to you as a child is nothing like what you will hopefully feel as a responsible adult who knows how to mesh the mental with the physical.
I guarantee you that is not what is happening on prom night!
Are you preparing for prom night and that weasel is telling you that prom night is about showing off for your class and then going somewhere, having something to drink and then showing your love for him?
Or are you that young man who is not pressuring a girl, but this hot momma just knows that it’s going to be on and popping after the prom, and so now you feel pressure to “man up?”
Young men, has some idiot given you a sense of entitlement that— because you buy a corsage and spring for a limo—you are deserving of sexual favors?
Understand this, young ladies, if anyone spends a lot of money on you and expects you to have sex with them and you do, then Don Imus has a word for what you are.
You don’t owe anyone anything.
Don’t sell your body, your dignity, your self respect. Don’t feel obligated to perform sexual acts on someone just because they do something nice for you.
“What if it’s my boyfriend,” you ask. Well, Dr. Luadzers and I agree that you need some straight answers. The straightest one I can give you is to keep your “private parts” to yourself and make sure he does the same.
Go to the prom, eat, take pictures, laugh at your teachers dancing, lean with it and rock with it, two step and if you so desire, drop it like it’s hot (with class). Then pick it back up, enjoy the rest of the dance and go home. You can relax knowing that you have not become the recipient of a sexually transmitted disease nor are you pregnant.
You had a good time and now you can think about how you are going to keep from giving away your virginity as a going away present when you two leave for college!
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