October 17, 2007
Men can say the
sweetest things,
and they know just
how to mess with our heads.
Unfortunately, we know
what to do—right from
wrong—but we don’t always
act accordingly.
Recently I watched the
movie, “Baby Boy.”
Yeah, I know I am way
behind the times, but I also
believe there is a time for
everything and this movie
had so many messages for
young girls.
Belated kudos to the
talented John Singleton for
another poignant film. Many
probably couldn’t see past
that beautiful black skin and
that enchanting smile of the
lead character, Jody, played
by singing and acting
sensation Tyrese.
Jody has two baby
mamas. He’s unemployed,
living with his mother and
constantly spreading his
“love” around. Clearly he
loves Yvette, who is the
mother of his oldest child.
But their relationship can
best be described as dysfunctional.
Peanut is the mother
of his baby daughter, and it
appears she understands that
maybe she shouldn’t have
hooked up with Jody.
Jody keeps Yvette’s car
while she is at work, and he’s
just out and about. Sound
like someone you know?
Jody is at odds with his
mother’s boyfriend. He sees
the man as a threat to his
security. Instead of being
happy because his mother is
happy, Jody sees Melvin,
played by Ving Rhames, as
the man who is going to
encourage his mother to kick
him out of the house.
It seems that Baby Boy
does not want responsibility.
He will stay with mommy
forever if she lets him.
But finally mom tells
Baby Boy that he needs to
grow up, get out on his own,
and start acting like a man.
She asks Jody what he would
do if some man treated her
like he treats Yvette. Jody
couldn’t say a word.
Now sisters, you have to
ask the same question of
yourselves, especially those
who already have daughters.
“What would you do if some
boy/man walked all over
your daughters; disrespecting,
impregnating, verbally
abusing and in some
instances physically abusing
them?”
Surely, you wouldn’t want
to even think about your
child enduring such grief.
This calls for thinking –
using your head—avoiding
the mind games that will
have you sitting home
waiting for calls, snooping
around in his personal stuff,
and crying your eyes out
because he doesn’t call.
And don’t think for a
moment that there will come
a time when those games
won’t be played anymore.
Take it from me; men will
continue to play some of the
same mind games as long as
they are breathing.
You play hard to get. Then
finally you give in, and he
becomes aloof, disinterested.
You wonder, “why?” After
all, he was professing his
love for you, telling you all
the things that make you feel
like “he’s the one.”
While there are some men
who really mean it when
they say they love a woman,
there are times when you just
really shouldn’t believe men
when they say, “I love you.”
If you are a teenager, 40 or
50, or even a 60-year-old
woman and that male is
trying to get close to you sexually,
remember many will
tell you they love you.
Actually most will say so,
especially if they think they
can score some points.
The baffling thing is deep
down you know the person
has not had time to establish
a “loving” relationship yet,
so you shouldn’t be falling
for his line—but you do.
And guess what? After
you have given up the
“goodies” and don’t hear
from the man, you call and
call until you get him on the
line. Then you profess your
love, and what does he say?
“You don’t even know
me. How can you love me?”
You’re fortunate if he
doesn’t run all over the place,
letting everyone know that
he had you. Once you hear
what he is saying, he’s a dog.
Please understand that
whatever you think he is
after you have had sex with
him, he was that before!
Hear me again, especially
you baby mamas. For some
reason, you can’t get enough
of that guy until you get
pregnant, and then he’s a
dog. You didn’t see any of
his quirks or bad habits until
after you have showered him
with your “love.”
Let that man turn colors,
and let him get frustrated as
he begs and pleads. He does
not love you. He may not
know what love is, and he
might not even know how to
be loveable.
Go out and rent “Baby
Boy.” Imagine Jody is your
man or boyfriend. Then
learn how to love yourself.
That’s the first step toward
finding love.
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