December 5, 2007
His name was Godrell
Lloyd, and he was
one of my brother’s
friends. I was in the sixth
grade; he was in the seventh.
Boy was he fine! He had
curly hair and a pretty mole.
My friend, Sherry, and I
were coming from one of the
stores on Chancellor Avenue
in Newark, New Jersey
when we saw him. We talked
for a while, and then he
kissed me so gently.
I was infatuated with
Godrell. It was a school girl
crush—something the
majority of young girls will
experience. I would
daydream about him and
listen to the music of the day,
Girl” by Eddie Holman or
“Who’s Loving You” by the
Jackson 5.
As luck or grace would
have it, all he wanted was a
kiss; therefore, the memory
will always be as sweet as his
kiss was. We moved away,
and I never saw him again.
Memories, oh memories.
That kiss was the best thing I
could have imagined. That is
until I grew up and realized
what love really is.
And that is what you
should want to experience,
memories that are sweet and
innocent—that you can look
back on without feeling
bitter or ashamed.
Sure, my mother would
have gone to jail that day if
she had come upon Godrell’s
and my lips locked together.
And Godrell would have
gotten a serious beat down
from my father. After all, I
was only about 12 years old!
Today 12-year-old girls
are doing a whole lot more
than experiencing an
innocent kiss.
What they don’t know is
that what they are experienc-
ing is nothing like what
happens when they have the
benefit of being in a loving
relationship—everything is
intensified.
Some will grow up
thinking they don’t need a
man for anything but sex.
Sisters you do need a man
for more than just sex. Love
is a beautiful thing. Finding
that right person who com-
plements you and loves you
as much as you love him is
so fulfilling. Some even say
he should love you more!
You should try develop-
ing a relationship with
someone who brings a smile
to your face at the very
thought of him. Make sure
he celebrates your accom-
plishments and has your
back. Jealousy is unhealthy
in any relationship, so it is
important that you find
someone who doesn’t mind
your star shining brighter
than his. Instead of tearing
you down, he will be your
biggest cheerleader. He will
be honest with you and be
considerate.
Let’s face it; you might
not have had good role
models for relationships.
Who taught you how to be in
a relationship? What type of
interaction did you see
between a man and woman?
Was there a lot of cussing
and fighting, followed by
loud sex or someone
storming out of the house
leaving the other person in
tears? Were the “arguments”
low key and private or could
you tell when someone was
mad?
Whatever they taught
you, the first thing they
should have taught you is to
be honest, secure and to not
compromise your principles
(hopefully you have them!)
and to realize that while not
compromising your princi-
ples, you must be willing to
compromise on issues.
If I had married Godrell, I
would have expected all of
his kisses to be as gentle as
that first one.
You should never do
anything to get into a rela-
tionship that you won’t do
after you are in that relation-
ship. The key is to grow; you
also have to be willing to
grow together. If you aren’t
committed, then get out of
the relationship. Don’t sleep
(have sex) with anyone you
aren’t willing to make a
commitment with and to.
Stop running from the
“nice” guys. I know you
want someone you feel is
tough, possibly a thug.
Really you are looking for
someone to make you feel
safe and protected; just make
sure that you don’t need pro-
tection from him!
Don’t think that you have
to accept being treated
poorly in a relationship.
Then, too, pick your battles.
You can’t make everything
an issue. And don’t run from
spiritual counseling or even
talking to folks who have
been there and done that.
One thing you should
realize is that life is too short.
If you find that special
someone or he finds you,
talk, walk, work, love it out
and your life will be so much
more fulfilling, especially
when you realize that you
were not put on this earth to
be alone.
Time and time again you
hear people say, “find
something to die for.” I am
telling you that you must
also find something to live
for. Find a few things to live
for, and don’t leave yourself
out of the equation.
And make every kiss
special and memorable. It
really is better to have loved
and lost, than to never have
loved at all. Hopefully one
day you will experience love
with someone, and hopefully
you both will experience it at
the same time because
there’s nothing worse than a
love that is not shared. It
really does feel so good to be
loved so bad.
Note: There’s another kiss
I remember--December 8
marks the third year since my
father, Joseph Smith, became
my Guardian Angel. It’s a
blessing indeed to remember
his loving, fatherly kisses!
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