Sisters, over the past
year I have attempted
to candidly discuss
issues that I thought were or
should be of importance to
you as you travel the journey
to womanhood.
Some of these columns
were an attempt to spark
conversations between you,
your friends and your
parents. I wanted to touch on
sensitive subjects that
begged for a forum to initiate
long overdue discussions
and maybe help you out of a
potentially bad situation.
On more than one
occasion I have been
contacted about subjects I
have written about.
While I have had more
responses from men, I was
invited to speak to the Top
Teens and other female
groups have been generous
with their praise and had
more than enough questions!
Now why did I begin
writing a column for young
sisters?
Well, five years ago I can
remember looking at my
Alayna, Annya and Ayanna
from my hospital bed. I was
recovering from a surgery
that, unbeknownst to me,
there was skepticism about
the probability that I would
recover.
As I lay, barely able to
move, I thought about how I
did not want those three
young girls to ever experi-
ence the pain and psycholog-
ical toll that would be my
reality for weeks to come.
At that moment I decided
that I wanted to tell them
everything I could about
growing up, in hopes that
while they could and would
still do their own thing; at
least they were armed with
information and would never
be able to say “if only I had
known.”
So I have talked about
everything from body odors
and what feeds fibroid
tumors, to tattoos and
abortions; in hopes that you,
the reader, would take my
perspective and information
provided to a higher level;
avoiding some of my
mistakes.
Although I have a few
college degrees under my
belt, I wasn’t trying to bring
a textbook or clinical per-
spective, totally.
Actually I used some of
my experiences, along with
those of family, friends,
loved ones, mentors and
even folks I don’t necessarily
like, along with documented
information and research; all
in an attempt to provide well-
rounded, accurate informa-
tion.
Sometimes the names
were changed to protect the
guilty and other times, I just
called the person out.
Mothers, especially, talk
to your daughters. I know
you think that they will look
at you negatively upon
hearing about some of your
“mistakes.”
Or your daughters may try
to throw those incidents back
at you.
Now you don’t have to
tell every detail--just let them
know that you are not con-
demning them--you just
want more for them and you
don’t want them to duplicate
some of your experiences.
And more than anything,
compassion goes a long,
long way, so don’t let
amnesia set in to the extent
that you forget totally what it
was to be young, gifted and
black!
As this year comes to a
close, I can think of so many
other issues to write about.
That’s because as long as
you live, you will always be
in a position to learn, that is
unless you get to that point of
being “grown” and then no
one can tell you anything!
The bad thing about
becoming that type of person
is that one day, if you are
fortunate, you will wake up
to the realization that you
made life a little harder
because you couldn’t learn
from someone else because
of course you had all the
answers.
You know--just like the
men and women who go to
prison for crimes they did
commit. Now while they are
incarcerated, and some when
they get out, they can write a
dissertation on what you
should and shouldn’t do, but
prior to their incarceration,
you couldn’t tell them a
thing!
Experience does not
always have to be the best
teacher. Learn from others'
experiences. Believe me I
have. I don't need to experi-
ence drugs, or numerous
other ills. Instead I will learn
from those I have seen dev-
astated because they thought
they were bad enough to
handle it.
I'm bad--but not that bad!
And neither are you.
Drugs are powerful and
have brought down empires.
Be smart enough to walk
away from those things that
have proven to be too much
to handle.
No “high” is worth the
devastation that drugs will
bring to you and those you
love.
Believe me I know!
As we move into another
year, I’d like to invite you to
join me in saying "thanks."
You can put whatever you
would like after "thanks."
I am just grateful that you
feel that you have something
to be thankful of and for--in
addition to life.
In 2008, I will share with
you 50 things that I like and
I'll tell you why. You might
ask, "do you have 50 things
you like?" Well just read
and see. You see, I think
2008 is going to be a great
year. And someone reading
this will say, “she says that
every year!”
Believe them and know
that I will continue to say it
every year because every
year you have an opportunity
to do more, better and more
better.
And I sincerely hope that
2008 will be a year of growth
and development for you and
yours, and that you will go
out and do something for
someone else; because we all
must lift as we climb!
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